The Summer of Chasing Mermaids (Sarah Ockler)

The youngest of six talented sisters, Elyse d’Abreau was destined for stardom—until a boating accident took everything from her. Now, the most beautiful singer in Tobago can’t sing. She can’t even speak. Seeking quiet solitude, Elyse accepts a friend’s invitation to Atargatis Cove. Named for the mythical first mermaid, the Oregon seaside town is everything Elyse’s home in the Caribbean isn’t: An ocean too cold for swimming, parties too tame for singing, and people too polite to pry—except for one. Christian Kane is a notorious playboy—insolent, arrogant, and completely charming. He’s also the only person in Atargatis Cove who doesn’t treat Elyse like a glass statue. He challenges her to express herself, and he admires the way she treats his younger brother Sebastian, who believes Elyse is the legendary mermaid come to life.  When Christian needs a first mate for the Cove’s high-stakes Pirate Regatta, Elyse reluctantly stows her fear of the sea and climbs aboard. The ocean isn’t the only thing making waves, though—swept up in Christian’s seductive tide and entranced by the Cove’s charms, Elyse begins to wonder if a life of solitude isn’t what she needs. But changing course again means facing her past. It means finding her inner voice. And scariest of all, it means opening her heart to a boy who’s best known for breaking them . . .

A woman-of-color as a YA protagonist!

And-no white washing the cover!

A book about a black girl in a retelling of the Little Mermaid!

No shade, but I feel like white girls take for granted all the novels that have girls that look like them on them. Trying to find YA books that feature girls of color (without focusing on their color too) is sooo rare. So when I saw this book I was too excited. I couldn't wait for it and hoped I wouldn't be disappointed. And I was not!

This book takes the Little Mermaid (Disney and otherwise) and turns the tale on its head. Nothing is what you would expect it to be.




Ursula is a loving aunt here, Vanessa isn't trying to steal the Mermaid's man, she's all good on him! Sebastian isn't a crab but the prince's brother who is obsessed with mermaids. Like I said before, the tale of the Little Mermaid is twisted. One huge way is that it's the mermaid that is somewhat evil not Ursula. 

The book stays pretty close to the movie and legend. Elyse, the "mermaid" has six sisters she's close too, she loves singing and she's actually from Trinidad! But she fell off a boat and when her sister and her boyfriend pulled her up, she wasn't breathing. Trying to save her life, her sister cut a hole in her throat but in the process severely damaged her vocal cords and there was nothing surgery could do to get them back.
That's when she moves to Atargais Cove with her aunt Ursula and her cousin . The story weaves in and out of reality and fantasy. Ursula is a witch of sorts here, there is the mermaid Atargonis who is stalking Elyse. Other than that, the story is very grounded in reality.
Now the prince: a man-whore named Christian Kane who I liked but didn't love or hate. I wasn't entirely convinced of why he starts treating Elyse differently then other girls. One of my favorite, fresh features of this series was that even though our first glimpse of Vanessa is something along the lines of this:

She's not a rival for Christian's affections, not the mean-girl troupe you would expect her to be. Not only was she a behind the scenes champion for Christian and Elyse's relationship, she and Elyse are friends.
Christian gets roped into a racing contest for the fate of Atargatis Cove. His jackass of a father and the sexist (but not racist as the story makes a point to point out) mayor make a beat about this Pirate's sailing race the cove has every year. To keep this little seaside town quaint and not a tourist trap, Christian has to win. He'll even get his best friends (the mayor's sons) boat as a prize. Unwilling to go back home, Elyse finds the motivation to try and fight her fear of the sea and becomes his first mate.

This brings the two of them together, brings Sebastian who (unlike the blurb suggests) thinks Elyse is the legendary mermaid Atargatis but only brings it up twice, and wants to participate in the Cove's mermaid parade which is traditionally only for girls. But Elyse finds a way to sneak him in to his father and the mayor's anger/annoyance.

Next is the Pirate's Regatta.

Unfortunately, Elyse has a freak out during the race that causes them to be second place. And the bet was strategically made that even though the mayor's son lost to, the point was Christian lost. This is when the story officially meets its climax. After a night of sex on the boat, Elyse gives herself to the sea and fights for her voice realizing that losing your physical voice isn't the only way you can lose yourself or your voice. And the mermaid really isn't evil like we believed she was.

Anyways, this book stands out in so many ways past just diversity. 

There's sex, there's masturbation, there's a young boy who crosses social ideas of gender norms and a girl who embraces her sexuality without slut-shaming.

I also felt like Elyse's heritage was wonderfully explored. We hear about her culture, her family's economic and social status as well as her racial heritage. I really felt like the author properly explored and researched Elyse's Trinidad heritage and I really believed that this girl was a girl of color.

Anyways, can we pleassseee have more books with girls of color like this? Please, oh book gods, please??

Although one con: (aka the whitest line ever) "It's not a race thing."

Other than that: read this book!

The Chaos of Stars (Kiersten White)

Kiersten White, New York Times bestselling author of Paranormalcy, is back with The Chaos of Stars—an enchanting novel set in Egypt and San Diego that captures the magic of first love and the eternally complicated truth about family. Isadora's family is seriously screwed up—which comes with the territory when you're the human daughter of the ancient Egyptian gods Isis and Osiris. Isadora is tired of living with crazy relatives who think she's only worthy of a passing glance—so when she gets the chance to move to California with her brother, she jumps on it. But her new life comes with plenty of its own dramatic—and dangerous—complications . . . and Isadora quickly learns there's no such thing as a clean break from family.

I'm starting to realize something. If I stop reading a book in the midst of it, (unless I'm at school, then this doesn't apply) there's probably a reason. I've noticed that. I still haven't finished Revealed of the House of Night series. Oh, I've started it and I've read the end but even now as I try to push myself through it for the second time, I just can't do it.

This beautiful cover got me and the name and time period in which it was published had me confusing it with These Broken Stars. Both have exquisitely made covers. But this book made me realize what guys mean when they complain about push up bras or leggings are false advertisements about some girls bodies. That's what beautiful book covers are when the content inside doesn't live up to the cover.

(BTW: I loved Isadora's name.) She is the mortal daughter born to Egyptian gods, Isis and Osiris in the present day times in Egypt. She is sixteen and hasn't traveled past the Nile. However, her mother has had bad omens that something bad is about to happen to her as well as Isadora in her dreams. Isadora doesn't believe that dreams can be connected to the future so she lies to her mother about\their dreams similarities. Isadora is bitter because as a child she grew up believing she was immortal like her parents and would live forever. However, when a childhood pet dies and her parents tell her it will join her in the afterlife, she realizes that isn't their plan for her. Creepily enough, they've already had her start designing her tomb as a child.

Isadora grow up into a bitter teen who believes her mother only has children (one every 20 years) because  the modern world no longer worships them and lives off her children's worship. She even names her children variations of her and her husbands names (ex. Isadora; Sirus) Isis decides to keep her daughter safe, she'll send her off to San Diego where her second-to-last child, Sirus resides. Isadora is happy about this because her mother has decided to have another baby four years before her typical pattern.

But something has followed Isadora to San Deigo. And it's no Big, Bad, Evil. Instead, it's a bad smell (later followed by a Big, Bad, Evil but not until much, much later).

Anyways, Isis forces Isadora to take a job at a museum full of artifacts she has donated for a brief collection. There Isadora meets a ash-blonde teen girl named Tyler (oh, gosh) who also works at the museum.

Isadora, declares Tyler is the Most Interesting Person ever and decides to make her her San Diego go-to-BFF. Tyler has a boyfriend named Scott (a guy) who has a friend named Ry (also a guy) who is named after Orion. This is relevant because for as long as she can remember, Isadora has had a fixation on the constellation Orion although her mother hates all things Greek for stealing all the God-worshiping mortals from her. Anyway, Ry writes epic poetry and his family is Greek. I knew he especially would be important because during Isadora's Isis rebellion in San Diego, she cuts and dyes her hair. When he sees her, he "stares at me like he's seen a ghost. Even his olive skin has paled" and says, "Your hair. I didn't recognize you before... I didn't recognize you when we met before. But now I do." 

Later, Isadora finds out that she and her family aren't the only gods out there. Orion isn't the original Orion but named after him. He isn't immortal either but the son of Aphrodite and Hephaestus who are happily in love.

Aphrodite who cheats on her ugly, unwanted blacksmith of a husband, Hephaestus for Ares numerous times in mythology. Hephaestus even catches them in old myths! You're trying to tell me they are in love?

But it only gets worse. During the moment where this is revealed to Isadora, Ry also ILY's her. That's right, he tells her he loves her!

That's when I was really done.

Even she says it: dude, you don't even know her! And his explanation that she's been in his dreams for years holds no gravity. He just looked at her as stone, that's it. I really thought this book wasn't going to do that. Ry and Isadora had only spent time together eating and working on her exhibit. He knows she's from Egypt, she has some family issues/problems and she loves interior design. She knows he has Greek heritage, he writes epic poetry (Seriously, what the fuck?) and...that's about it, other then he is homeschooled.

I didn't like Ry as a love interest for a number of reasons. Maybe it wasn't dislike and more that the author didn't convince me. She didn't even fully convince Isadora! Actually, he does know something else about Isadora. Isadora tells him she just wants to be friends. She can't stand commitment because she can barely deal with facing her own eventual death, let alone losing someone else. Initially, Ry agrees with this but like all YA guys, he doesn't know when to stop pushing. He tries to hold Isadora's hand during a movie and she runs away. His excuse is that "friends hold hands."

The fuck they do!

After Isadora runs away from him (specifically his love revelation since she runs away from him a lot), the half-assed Evil plot joins the climax. Other than bad smells, a house break in and a museum guard getting put in the hospital and bad dreams, the Evil barely shows up in the story. Most time is spent doing things to rebell against Isis and fight her attraction towards Ry. When Isadora is running away from Ry's stupid love confession she runs into her creepy half brother/cousin Anubis (his mom and Isis sister got sick of trying to get Set-her hubby-to sleep with her, so she pretended to be Isis and slept with Orsirus. Thus, Anubis is born. He rules the Underworld with their father but wants more out of life. Understandable.) The funky smell we've Isadora's been dealing with all novel is the smell of the liquid Egyptians put their organs and crap in when they are mummified. (Disgusting!) He forces Isadora to read her mothers hand on one of the artifacts that reveals a snake that can poison gods. Isis is the only one who can bring gods back to life, but if she is killed, anyone-even the gods-can be dead for good.

Ry, Ty and Sy Scott save Isadora from Anubis but he already has what he wants. It takes all night and a concussion for Isadora to figure out his plan.

Ry, who doesn't listen to Isadora when she told him she needed space when she went home alone, is outside her house and ready to give her access to his Greek God private plane that takes her to Egypt. Once there, Isadora realizes she was wrong about his accomplice. She was too busy slut-shaming her brother's, Horus' (or Whore-us as she confusingly refers to him) wife Hathor (the goddess of sex and beer), she doesn't realize Anubis' accomplice is his mother/her aunt. Her aunt has been poisoning Isis during her pregnancy and has gotten away with it without Isadora there to realize what's going on.

The demon her aunt leaves to take care of her, very easily lets her pass, and Isadora leaves Ry to deal with Anubis. She bursts into her mothers birthing chamber where her aunt is with the God-killing snake. Her aunt releases the snake and it launches at Isadora...who conveniently is still wearing the gold wristlet/bracelet Ry gave her before his declaration of love. The snake's fangs get stuck in it and she remains safe. She tells her parents all about her aunt's evil plans and her mother decides to forget her name which apparently was the only thing keeping her aunt alive. Cast out, Isadora's mom starts giving birth to a daughter named Dora and she decides to possibly (forget it, you know she is) giving Ry a chance although she doesn't believe in his love-crap baloney.

Sigh. I will never get these hours back. Just think about all that time and beautiful book cover wasted on this book. It could've been so much more.  

The Probability of Miracles (Wendy Wunder)

Dry, sarcastic, sixteen-year-old Cam Cooper has spent the last seven years in and out hospitals. The last thing she wants to do in the short life she has left is move 1,500 miles away to Promise, Maine - a place known for the miraculous events that occur there. But it's undeniable that strange things happen in Promise: everlasting sunsets; purple dandelions; flamingos in the frigid Atlantic; an elusive boy named Asher; and finally, a mysterious envelope containing a list of things for Cam to do before she dies. As Cam checks each item off the list, she finally learns to believe - in love, in herself, and even in miracles. A debut novel from an immensely talented new writer, The Probability of Miracles crackles with wit, romance and humor and will leave readers laughing and crying with each turn of the page.

First off, yayyyy for a protagonist that's not white for once!

Or, at least not full white. Not to mention Cam's other culture (she's half Samoan) is completely embraced in this novel. There's even a scene where one of her friends tries to make a little joke about her Samoan side but she quickly sets them straight. You go, girl!

There are few books that make me want to reread them in physical form (versus in electronic form), but this is one of them. Despite the different plot points and characteristics that frequent most contemporary YA novels, this one managed to stay original...mostly.

Most importantly, Cam is dying of cancer. And Since her father died, Alicia (Cam's mom) has been with a bunch of different guys. Therefore Cam has learned true love=not real. Commitment=doesn't exist. People=are fickle. Also, Cam is a very sarcastic, I'm-not-a-typical-teenager teenager. The story isn't told through her point of view but third person, however the focus remains strictly on Cam. 

Cam has a best friend (who also has the same cancer) who is having an affair with another girl's boyfriend. I was really hoping this plot-line was going to be different. First the guy, Ryan, goes to youth group and his girlfriend won't have sex with him. Lily (the best friend) goes to youth group too but will have sex with him. When we first see Ryan and Lily interact he seems to go beyond the stereotypes the plot demands of him. He waits for Lily to eat before he does, he helps her when she has a remission-caused nosebleed and seems like he genuinely cares about her. But when Cam gets him alone and asks his intentions, Ryan basically states he doesn't see the point of dumping his girlfriend for him. I can't decide if he thinks this because she is dying or because he really doesn't want to be with her. It sucked.

Cam's best friend also ties in another plot device from other YA stories. When she and Cam were younger and were away at what seemed like a cancer camp, they each made bucket lists. However, to keep them from sounding so depressing they call them Flamingo lists. 

A lot of Cam's sarcasm and personality comes out in her penning of the list, which is a sad ode to the life of a teenager/teens in YA. (Is this really what we're like?)

FLAMINGO LIST (I rearranged them in the order they are achieved)

* Experiment with petty shoplifting.

* Have an awkward moment with my best friend’s boyfriend.

* Dabble in some innocent stalking behavior.

* Drink beer.

* Lose my virginity at a keg party.

* Have my heart broken by an asshole.

* Stay out all night.

* Wallow in misery, mope, pout, and sleep through Saturday.

* Get fired from a summer job.

* Go cow-tipping.

* Kill my little sister’s dreams.

Anyways, in the beginning of the novel Cam has just found out that she is in remission yet again but this time there is nothing the doctors can do for her. This flashback was really sad because Cam's doctor was upset and she was trying to make him feel better. So her mom is like, we're going to find a cure. She hears about this magical miracle town in Maine called Promise and whisks Cam and her little sister Perry away from their DisneyWorld life (they work/live at DisneyWorld, BTW) and leaves her current boyfriend behind.

Once in Promise, miracles ignite. Almost immediately in their entrance to the town Cam meets a boy named Asher. Asher is a bunch of cliches. He is a good-looking football player who has the cream of the crop (what the hell does that saying even mean?) to chose from with girls. However, in his spare time Asher enjoys getting hand jobs from older women. Also, Asher is afraid. He's afraid to leave Promise because his parents died when they left, so what if he does too?

In the beginning I liked Cam and Asher's relationship. Yes, she thought he was cute and engaged in some innocent stalking from her widows walk but he wasn't all that she was thinking about. Cam still had a personality past her crush on Asher. And their relationship seemed to progress at a good phase. That is, until Cam's new employer and Asher's aunt reveals his back story to her. I felt like this took the place of a actual intimate bonding moment between the two characters that could've furthur developed their relationship. Instead, it was still used as such. Soon a rift occurs between Cam, Asher, Perry and Alicia, they kiss and soon are all touchy-feely with each other.

Cam soon gets a lot of her list done. In one night and the fallout that follows, she manages to knock a good three or four off her list. Perry insists that she goes to a island rager which you have to zip-line to get too. Once there Cam actually makes some friends her age like this girl named Sunny and starts hula dancing. She also drinks a little and manages to catch a drunkie. The guy's name is Alec and he is a French exchange student. He leads Cam to this boat where they start making out. She tries to tell him no, but he's all:

and takes her virginity even though she didn't say yes. In fact, she specifically said no. So it was non-consensual sex. I know she didn't fight and later said that it actually started feeling good...until it didn't but still. If someone says no, it means:

I didn't even really process what the fuck had happened until later when I re-read that scene. Ugh, what a fucking loser. Then on top of that, (of course) Alec has a girlfriend. A girlfriend that Cam sorta-kinda-but-not-really be friends as time passes. I know she had given up on finding love before she died but I really wish that she could've had a different first time.

This book brought up some good points. Like Perry goes off on Cam once for not recognizing that as young as she is, she's had to make sacrifices for Cam's illness too. Cam isn't the only one being effected by her cancer. So is her mom and her sister. I think it's fairly easy in books like these for the authors and main characters to get lost in their struggle and seeing the grief in the people around them that they forget this aspect. The loved ones of someone with cancer aren't just mourning, they are making sacrifices for the cancer patient whether they are dying and trying to find a cure. It was so sad though to hear Perry have to tell Cam this. 
One of the main issues in the story is that Cam refuses to believe in miracles. She refuses to believe that the town was magical. She even gets into a fight with her mom and sister about this. They beg her to believe and she refuses. Trying to help them, she tries to make her mom's garden magically grow overnight and makes a donkey into a unicorn for her sister. However, she fails miserably.

At this point Cam hits the lowest of low points. Desperately needing someone to talk to, she tries to call Lily but her mother informs her that Lily actually died three days ago and they had forgotten to call Cam and let her know. Finally Cam is done.

She decides that she's tired of living and takes a bunch of pills and tries to drive her car off a cliff. But the pills kick in too soon and she crashes into a bouncy house and Asher manages to find her (after his dick's happy time) and forces her to throw up the pills. After this, she manages to work everything out with her family and Asher. This actually leads to Asher cutting off the older girl and he and Cam eventually start dating.

Everything seems good for a while. Somehow Lily managed to send Cam a couple of gifts beyond the grave. The first is the now-bedazzled picture of them that Cam stole from her house. She also actually made a real version of that book thing they were writing together. She also sent Cam her own Flamingo list. The only thing that wasn't checked (I was soooooo sad. I had hoped things would change for her) was "find true love" but Cam decided that she, herself had. The last thing Lily arranged was a Make a Wish gift that ironically sent Cam back home to DisneyWorld with her friends.

Just as she prepares to take Asher and her friends to DisneyWorld, Asher notices a blue spot (a symptom of her disease) on her, but she blows it off. Her focus is getting him and her friends outside of Promise to show them what the world is like. Her mother kept refusing to let her go because she was scared that leaving Promise would send Cam in remission. She's partly right, but the new blue spot appears right before they even leave. Anyway, the trip is nice, she and Asher have sex (although they've had sex before this and are dating now, hence the touch-feely period) and they bring back Alicia's left behind boyfriend because Cam realizes now that her sister and mother love him more then just temporarily. The boyfriend proposes to the mom and they get married in Promise.

This is where the next couple of chapters keep having the perfect endings for the novel, but they aren't the endings. It'll just be another chapter. Cam starts semi-dreaming of the future. She's been accepted into Harvard and Asher is semi-considering leaving Promise. However, Cam can feel death coming for her. The symptoms started just before she left Promise and are only getting worse. But then the two of them get into a  huge fight as Cam tries to push Asher to leave Promise. It almost sounds like a last wish. Angry, Asher goes out in the sea and a huge storm appears.

A ghost ancestor of his appears to Cam and tells her that yes, she will be dying soon but she has to call him back. Cam holds on for as long as she can before she passes out. Her family has to leave Promise to get her to a real hospital. Cam says goodbye to her family and luckily Asher appears and they say their goodbyes.

And then she dies. My first thought was: What? WHAT? She dies? She dies? What the hell kind of book is called The Probability of Miracles and she actually dies!!?! Was that the point? So we could calculate the chances of the things that Cam did experience in Promise were actually miracles? Or were they just a bunch of coincidences? Was it a coincidence that the flamingos came there or were they really for her? Was it a coincidence that she was getting better before she died or was it really the works of a miracle that didn't work?

But maybe the miracle wasn't that Cam was supposed to live. Maybe the miracle was that she actually saw and experienced love and died with it. I know when she died she was surprised she still felt the love of all her loved ones. Maybe the miracle was Asher. Maybe the miracle was finding friends, a family. Maybe the miracle was seeing that true love and commitment were real despite her past and people like Alec probing her wrong. Maybe the miracle was the love Cam actually had to earn from Asher and Sunny and the others and the love she witnessed between Perry, her mother and her boyfriend. Maybe that's the miracle: love.

Anyway, despite my spoiling of the plot you should definitely read this book. I loved the writing and some of the characters. This book is underrated on Goodreads and should definitely be read more.